Skip's Birthday Weekend

Skip's Birthday Ice Cream

Skip with Torsten, Timmy, Elke and Elfie

Skip had a great birthday weekend. He went Friday to the BVB game and watched them win 3 to 0. Saturday we went out with friends and relatives to Mongos--a mongolian barbque place in Duisburg. It's a restaurant where you pick a sauce and the go through a buffet line with a bowl picking out veggies and meats and then the chefs stir fry it all together and bring it to your table. This morning, he got breakfast in bed--Maddie insists that you should always have breakfast in bed on your birthday and later we headed in to Kaiserswerth for the annual Kartoffelfestival (that's a potato festival for you non-German speakers).

Maddie and I went to the welcome back picnic and school on Friday night. It's always fun to watch the new dads realize that there's a beer truck parked at the school. It softens the blow of still not having internet connection and the pain of the blisters they've gotten putting together all that IKEA furniture. Maddie had friend Riley's birthday party on Saturday morning and enjoyed having a new babysitter on Saturday night. We've started letting Rosie out in the little entry way to our house. We can completely shut it off from any other rooms or stairs and it gives her a chance to run around.

Maddie's Keen Fashion Sense

Maddie and Rosie

Okay, so my rant for the week is issue of waiting in line. I stood with Maddie in line on Friday to get animal balloons from a clown at the school picnic and I stood in line at the Kartoffelfest. Both times German children or adults cut in front of me. Now in the kids line, I just told them where the back of the line was and pointed. We had to wait for about 15 minutes and I sent three different kids (all Germans) to the back of the line. The Asian kids and the American kids just qued up at the end and waited. The same thing happened to me waiting in line for potato soup today. A gentlemen of about 75 walked up to where I was standing, looked back to the end of the line and then just wedged his way between me and the person in front of me. Nobody said a word. I didn't because first of all, I didn't know how to say, "back of the line, buddy" in German, and second of all because it would have seemed rude to kick the 75-year-old out of the line. I have seen this happen time and again (there was a fairly ugly incident at a clothing store with a friend of mine). It seems like the cultural norm is "if you can get away with it, don't bother waiting for your turn." What is that about? We've had to teach Maddie not to break in line, but to stand her ground and protect her place--otherwise she'd spend her life here waiting for a turn!

Maddie is a Mermaid

Yes, the child leads a charmed life. Well, actually, she was really good in the try-outs. She's really excited. I'm really excited, too. She could have been one of the narrators, but she opted for mermaid status. Mermaids are only in one scene. That means we don't have to be at practice every week between now and the February show date. It's one of those win-wins.

I on the other hand may have to find a bridge to jump off. I'm not sure how it happened, but I agreed to be one of the two homeroom moms for Maddie's classroom. I've always considered homeroom mom status to be one of the 9 (or is it7?) levels of hell. What did I do to land here and is there a penance I could do to get me out?

To top it off, I've been going to the gym with my skinny friend Jennifer. NEVER go to the gym with skinny people. It's just a bad move. She's been getting me to try this new group of classes they're offering. It's addling my brain. She's convinced me that next week I really should try the pilates class AFTER the spinning class for a full two hours of cardio and strength training. I'm already not sleeping because when I turn over in bed, every muscle in my body aches.

So let's review--living in a foreign country, no job--but manic volunteer, exercising to the point of pain, pet owner and homeroom mom. I'm thinking I may have to skip the 20th high school reunion next summer. I don't think I've quite lived up to the goals I laid out in the yearbook.

Oh, and on a life in German note--I was so amused that our German neighbor was scrubbing down the steps and walkway that lead to his front door. These are OUTSIDE steps. And he wasn't just rinsing or even using a power washer. He had this machine that looked kind of like a floor buffer. I kind of rolled my eyes until later that day, I realized how much nicer their steps and landing looked than ours. But don't think that the German lifestyle has rubbed off on me too much. Bought a beautiful pot of mums last week and they're already dead. I'll have to sneak them out to the appropriate bin after dark.

Daniel Powter kind of day

Daniel Powter had a hit song last year with "Bad Day". It's been that kind of day.

Skip took the car to Frankfurt today. He normally takes the train, but as today is the anniversary of 9/11 and with the recent arrests in the Frankfurt area, I wasn't too keene on him taking a train that landed him in the middle of the Frankfurt airport on this particular day.

So Maddie and I took the train to school and I had to hightail it back home to host a Halloween Party planning meeeting, where I was the killjoy because the costume contest is now going to be a parade of costumes. The kids at this elementary school get cut from soccer teams and basketballteams, have to audition for choir and try out for school plays where there aren't enough slots. Does Halloween have to entail a competition as well for kids under the age of 10?

Then, my friend Joann kindly invited me to tea to welcome a new member of our community who has moved here from England. I was the token American. I believe there was a stray Aussie or two as well. So I took my bike to Joann's. I had my sunglasses when I left, but packed rain gear in my saddle bags, which I had to use on my way to pick up Maddie at school. Left my bike at my friend Joy's house because I didn't want to leave the bike at the school overnight. Picked up Maddie and went acroos the street for recorder lessons. Running in to the building for recorder lessons, Maddie trips and totally skins both knees and even manages to slightly bruise her face. FAR to upset for recorder lessons, absolutely hysterical, but I have an hour to get her calmed down before she has to audition for this blasted school play. I was abolutely gobsmacked (new word I've learned from my Brit friends--great isn't it?) as I couldn't run her home and get her cleaned up and bandaged as I didn't have the car today (which is usually not at all a big deal).

About 10 minutes before her name is called, she pulls it together, goes in and does a fantastic job. Every line is perfect and delivered with just the right inflection. I, however, am a wreck. The cards are stacked against her, as I am not in the inner circle of moms (many of whom are my friends and rather nice people) who are on the drama team and whose kids are guaranteed a spot in the play. I was never really in the "in" or "out" crowd at school, but I had a very real sense of what it felt like to be one of the "outs" today. I walked in to the audition room with Maddie and I felt like the geeky kid in some bad high school movie with all of the drama moms gathered in a circle to watch my child's audition. Maddie did great. I am going to need some recovery time. I think this says something about me--I'm not sure what

Rosie the bunny continues to do well.

The bunny, the bunny, I love the bunny

yes. We did it. Today we welcomed Rosie the zwerge kaninchen (dwarf bunny) into our lives. Here in Germany, a bunny if a fairly common pet. Over a million people have them--as pets. Others raise larger rabbits for food.

Maddie spent most of the day either watching Rosie in her house or petting her. Since bunnies are prey animals, you can imagine they're a little nervous, so we'll be holding her a lot over the next week or so to let her get used to us. Even the person who was least enthusiastic about acquiring a pet (that would be me) has to admit, she's pretty cute.

In other German experiences, I was able to Uberweissen for the first time all by myself yesterday. No, it's not something illegal. It's paying a bill--German style. They don't use checks here at all. Most payments are set up by automatice draft, but if you have random payments--say a membership fee in the American Women's Club--then you go to the bank and use this machine next to the ATM. You put in the name of the oraganization you want to pay, their bank and two different series of numbers. Skip was so busy last week that he didn't have time and the fee was due. It was either figure out how to use the machine when all was in German, or go to the people in the bank and ask them to speak English. I avoid the latter if at all possible. It seems rude to ask people in THEIR country to speak YOUR language. Basic stuff I can muddle through, but banking language is not part of my vocab. I was able to fake my way through the machine because I had an English teacher mom who taught me that if you understan the root of the word, you can generally figure out what the word means. It works in Germany, too.

One more tidbit: tonight we ate at the Road Stop Cafe in Essen. It's "American style" food--including burgers, which are hard to come by here. The couple sitting behind us at theirs with a knife and fork. We looked like complete Philistines!

One Year

It was one year ago today that Maddie and Skip and I got on a plane to come to Germany. Isn't it good that we can't see the future? I never would have come...and then where would I be?

Maddie wouldn't know German. I still don't really know German, but that's beside the point.

I might never had gotten back on a bicycle (am actually a little sore right now from that particular piece of equipment. I always give myself away as a tourist--not a native--when I'm on my bike. I actually have to put my feet down when I have to stop at a crosswalk. The real Germans can stay balanced even when they're not moving!)

I wouldn't know how to make some really kickin' schnitzel

Skip wouldn't have discovered that he can read Dutch or realize his dream of having season tickets to all the home BVB games in Dortmund.

We would never have known what a truly wide world of Gummi candies there are to choose from

Maddie wouldn't be able to watch Kim Possible (cartoon character) dive offe the Eiffel tower and say "I've been there!" For Maddie, saying that her friend Julia lives in Memphis is no different from telling you that her friend Hannah is from Korea. For her, it really is a small world after all.

We never would have gotten to hang out with the German relatives as much. And I gotta say, they're pretty cool.

I still would have no idea where Majorca was (an island off the coast of Spain where I've just booked us for a five-day vacation in October. Already a good deal, when I went in to book it, they were running a special and we saved even more. With flight, room and board included, it would almost cost us more money to stay home those days. okay, not quite, but it sounds good)

And I wouldn't have met some people that I can't imagine going through life and not knowing. I've heard that people who serve in the armed forces basic traning bond for life with the people with whom they survive it. I think it's kind of the same thing for an ex-pat assignment.

Still Me

Okay, I've really tried to immerse myself in this whole German experience.

On Saturday, we went and put a deposit down on a zwerg kaninchen (or dwarf bunny) for you English speakers. We'll be picking it up next week. It's a fairly common pet here in Germany, and it was a compromise for pet-starved Maddie whose mom doesn't want a dog and whose dad doesn't want a cat. Pray for us all!

That night we had cousins Torsten and Elke over for dinner and a game of Skat--an EXTREMELY complicated German card game. Found out that we got off easy, because apparently, you usually play for money! Had a great meal, a great time and we know a new card game. Next time we get together I'm teaching them Golf, a card game my Aunt Carole taught me. Much easier!

Sunday we had my friend Sheree and her husband Florian and their kids Leah and Lucas over for (what else!) coffee and cake. Sheree is American and her husband is German, but their German time is temporary. Florian lived in the states for something-teen years before coming back. We sat around the table drinking coffee while the kids played until 6 p.m. Skip and I didn't get to sleep 'til after midnight we were so wired.

So you'd think that through all the transition and turmoil of living in Germany, I would have emerged a more fully evolved, centered human being. But, no. Today we had the activities fair for the American Women's Club and I was busy signing up volunteers for the massive Halloween Party. When I went to get my parking ticket validated, I left my lists (of about 50 volunteers and e-mail addresses) at the front desk of the hotel where the meeting was held. That's the same kind of thing pre-ex-pat Anne would have done. Fortuneately, it was still there when I went back for it. Whew!

Making the Transition

About a week ago, I was asked to speak at the American Women's Club newcomers coffe about how our spiritual lives play a role in the transition into ex-pat life. Several people have asked me for a copy of my remarks, so I decided to post them on the blog.

I am an ordained Presbyterian pastor. When I began preaching, I was completely daunted (terrified?) by the idea of preaching—like I have something to say about the word of God that everyone needs to hear. Me. Please! What kind of authority or knowledge do I have?

So my approach to preaching is more along the lines that we are all on a journey together and that I am just as fallible as the next guy, but I have some thoughts I’d like to share that might help us along on our journey together.

I had kind of the same reaction when Molly asked me to talk at this meeting today. Me. Please! I am hardly the example of how to smoothly transition into the ex-pat life. In fact, when I told some of my closets friends that I would be speaking here today, they laughed—long and loudly. I recently got an e-mail from a friend who moved back to the states at the end of the summer who told me she considered running a pool to see whether or not I would get on the plane to come back, but the whole dollar/euro conversion just made it too complicated.

I can’t remember when I ever cried in public as an adult until I came to Germany and, for awhile, it was a weekly event. I have yelled at my child more in the last year than I have in her whole life put together. Whoever said that children are better off when their mother stays home full time never met me.

So after admitting that I am no shining example of how to transition into life as an ex-pat, I will share with you a couple of things today that perhaps you will find helpful as we journey along this ex-pat road together.

Let’s start with the idea that everyone has their baseline level of “okayness”. Let’s say it’s here. Here is where you are on a regular, average kind of day. Up here is your over the edge mark. Know that when you become a stranger in a strange land your “normal” level moves that much closer to your over the edge place.

So what we have to do is manage that space between okay and over the edge. And that means we have to exercise the discipline of self-care. We have to be very intentional about taking care of ourselves. I’m pretty sure most of us first arrived in this country via airplane. And what does the flight attendant tell us about the oxygen masks? Place your own mask on before attempting to help anyone else. In other words, if you can’t breathe, you can’t help anyone else breathe.

When we think about self-care, we are willing to feed our bodies and exercise our minds, but how do we care for our inner-most core. Our spirit. Did you know that word spirit comes from the Latin word which means breath? In Hebrew, the word is Ruah which also means breath or wind. In our most ancient languages the word for spirit is synonymous with the word that sustains life. We know that life cannot exist without breath, so why is it that the nurture of our spirit seems to take a back seat to everything else?

So how to we care for our spirit? I think we all know that relationships are integral to our well being. We are created to be in community. So I encourage you to foster some new relationships here. Make new friends. And the American Women’s Club is a great place to do so. But if you limit your relationships to the people you meet here, you have missed one of the great gifts of this experience—the chance to enter into friendships with people who come from other places, who have their own ways of nurturing their spirit, who have different things that put them over the edge.

And speaking of going over the edge, you want to make sure that you have at least one or two friends to whom you can say, “I’m not okay.” Because there will be times when you’re not.

We all know that the ability to travel and see the world is one of the biggest advantages of the ex-pat life, but have you thought of tailoring your travel plans to your own self-care? Instead of going to places you want to see, consider scheduling trips to places that meet your needs.

• Tired of having to rehearse in your brain what you’re going to say to the butcher or the dry cleaner? Head to England for an English-speaking vacation.

• Need a little Southern Hospitality, I’ve found the Dutch to be the Southerners of this part of Europe.

• In need of a little ego boost and want a weekend in a place where the men are guaranteed to flirt with you? Try Italy.

• Weary of people staring at you when you talk or laugh too loudly. Take a jaunt on Ireland and be as loud as you want. No one will even bat an eye.

Perhaps travel and spiritual nurture are not two things you would normally connect, but I know that when any of us think of nurturing our spirits, we think of spiritual communities. Houses of worship. I would encourage you, if you have not already done so, to find a spiritual community to connect with. There are many formal and informal communities in the area where English speakers can gather and worship together. Again and again, studies have show that people who regularly gather with a worshipping community have fewer heart attacks, strokes and illnesses than those who don’t. It quite literally helps you keep breathing.

In addition to becoming part of a community, I encourage you to cultivate your own daily, spiritual practice. Whether it is scripture study, prayer, lighting a candle, sitting under a tree or simply being quiet, a daily ritual will help keep you grounded and futher away from the over-the-edge line. If you’ve never done such a thing, I challenge you to try it for just a week, and I promise it will make a difference.

Recently someone asked me if I had enjoyed the last year in Germany, and I said that no, I hadn’t. But afterwards, I realized that my answer didn’t give the whole picture. Enjoy is just the wrong word. Quite frankly, last year was filled with way too many trials and tribulations and struggles and strains to be called enjoyable, but there are things that occurred in that year that I wouldn’t trade for anything.

Would I give up the fact that my six-year-old has seen the Eiffel Tower, touched the bell at the top of Notre Dame where Quasimodo lived and saw Mary Poppins on stage in London?

Would I trade a fabulous Thanksgiving dinner shared with dear friends I hadn’t even known three months before?

Would I trade the chance for our family (especially our daughter) to get to know the German side of the family?

Would I give up the friends I’ve made here that I intend to keep for a lifetime?

Not a chance. So “enjoy” is not the right word to describe my time here. Perhaps a better word is “blessed.” I’ve definitely been blessed by time as an ex-pat in Germany. I hope your time will be to and may we even have the opportunity to be a blessing to each other.

A Regular Person

This was a feel-like-a-normal-person week.

One Tuesday, I went to a board meeting in the morning and led a Bible study in the afternoon. Boy did that feel familiar. Wednesday night, some friends and I went to the Sneak Peak Movie. It costs about half the price of a regular ticket and is always in English. The risk is that you don't know what movie it is until it starts. We lucked out. It was the Bourne Ultimatum. This is how much a movie geek I am. The movie starts with a pan out over a city and along the bottom of the screen the words "Moscow, Russia" are typed out. I leaned over to my friends and said, "It's the Bourne movie". Yes, I ID'd a movie from typeface.

Yesterday, I went with friends over the border to the Netherlands to go to a big outlet mall. Got the cutest outfit for Maddie and just enjoyed strolling and looking. The Dutch all speak English AND German. In fact, some of them speak better English than I do. They're also very customer service friendly. I think historically the Dutch have been the merchants of the area, and it shows when you're shopping.

It's been really cool for August, but this week we've had almost no rain--which means MAddie has been able to hit the playground every day after school. She has slept like a log.

On the let's-try-to-be-more German-like front, I have mastered the art of the chicken schnitzel. The key is to drag the chicken through flour, then egg, then bread crumbs before pan frying. Maddie loves it, but she's not up for the sauer kraut.

Back When I Was Cool

Hilly Kristal died. In case that's not a household name, he founded CBGBs--the club in New York where the punk rock movement in America was launched. The Ramones, Patti Smith, the Lemonheads all got their start there. Back when I was cool, I helped direct a photo shoot for a Surf Expo magazine in New York and we shot outside CBGBs and even got their bouncer in the shot with our model. The bouncer was a short, stocky guy with more tatoos and piercings than I could count.

I would give anything to be back hanging out with emacitated models and the tatooed bouncer in Greenwich Village. But instead, I'm losing sleep because my six-year-old is planning to try-out for the elementary school play, Peter Pan. Not only will she most likely not get the part she wants (a mermaid), there is a distinct possibility she may not get a part at all. There are not enough roles for all the kids who are interested. I'm not sure I can stand this. Thought we'd have a few more years before having to deal with something like this. When I was in elementary school--whether it was Lakeside Elementary or the Hot Springs Fine Arts Center--everyone got a part if they wanted one.

If only I were still hanging out in front of CBGBs (which was shut down about a year or so ago--I think for failure to pay taxes or something like that). I'm sure somebody there could hook me up with some really good drugs--I fear I may need them!

BVB

Had one of the quintessential German experiences yesterday. Went to a professional football game. A Borussia Dortmund (or BVB) game, no less. The stadium holds 82, 000 people, but the stadium wasn't quite full. Probably only 70,000 or so, so it was an intimate group.

To get there we drove to cousin Torsten's house where Elke (Torsten's wife) graciously offered to keep Maddie. Timmy (the youngest of the family) waited until we got there so he could ride with us on the train and make sure we got of at the right stop. We squeezed onto this train that I thought was full until we pulled into the next stop and a man on the platform shouted, "No! There is space!" and proceeded to pile in along with 10 more of his close friends. It was all very up close and personal until two stops later when we arrived at the stadium.

It was quite a show. To start the game, they invite a member of each of the fan clubs from neighboring towns to come on the field and wave BVB flags. And they play (of all things!) You'll Never Walk Alone. You know, from the Broadway musical Carousel. Quite the experience to hear at stadium full of Germans singing a show tune in English at a soccer game.

The people watching was fantastic and anyone who says soccer is boring, hasn't seen professional soccer. These guys run up and down a huge field for 90 minutes with only one break and a handful of subs. And how anyone can do what they did with a soccer ball using only their feet is beyond me.

And then, there were the fans. The whole south section is the Sudtribune section. These are the die-hard fans wear the colors, wave the flags, lead the chants and at times jump up and down in unison. A beer cost the same as a soda or water, so you can begin to imagine the atmosphere.

Fortunately, BVB won--for the fist time this season. There was much joy in Mudville.

Big Weekend

Well, we made it through the first full week of school. I have not raised a strong, independent child. After a week of struggling to get Maddie fed, dressed and out the door WITH her backpack and lunch in tow, I commented that I didn't think I was going to make it through 12 more years of this. Maddie asked what I meant by that. When I told her that in 12 years she'd be 18 and off to college where she'd have to get her self up and out the door in the morning, she totally panicked. Skip and I had to promise that she could stay home for as long as she wants. Hope that doesn't come back to bite us!

Our big treat this weekend is that friend Katie (who Maddie says is a really good taper) taped the American premiers of High School Musical 2 and mailed it to us. It won't make it to British or German Disney until the last week in Septmeber. For those of you unfamiliar with the HSM phenomenom, just know that this was a BIG DEAL!

Skip and cousin Torsten have season tickets to all the homes games of BVB--the Dortmund soccer team, but Torsten is out of town this weekend, so I get his ticket. Just me and Skip and 80,000 German soccer fans. Maddie is going to stay with Torsten's wife Elke while we're at the game.

Just as an interesting cultural note: while we're at the game in Dormund, about 30 minutes away in Essen just as many people will be gathering for the annual Love Parade--Germany's largest gay pride parade. Can you imagine if the trains got mixed up and delivered the wrong people to the wrong event?

Photo Catch up

Finally got a new photo card reader. Will catch up with some photos. Between getting Maddie back in the school swing, saying good-bye to my friend Robin and trying to get the first issue of the Radschlaeger out, things have been a bit busy.




Maddie with friend Eedra, who is headed back to Michigan


Me and Eedra's mom Robin, who will be taking Eedra back to Michigan. We will very much miss them along with brothers Liam and Sam. Husband Patrick has to finish out a job contract for a couple of months, so we'll try to keep him entertained.


Maddie's "tea party" with friends from last year's class

Whew!

It's been a busy transition back to school. Maddie was wiped out after two-and-a-half days of school. She loves it. Her only dissapointment is that she does not have the same German teacher.

I have been busy doing the layout for the magazine for the American Women's Club. It's a 36 page-plus cover publication. Someone else does the cover, but the insides are all mine. Haven't done this kind of thing in several years, so this first issue has really taken a lot of time. Got the first draft to the proofers--can't WAIT to see how many things are wrong. When it's done, I'll post a PDF on this blog for all of you who are yearning to have your finger on the pulse of the American Woman in Duesseldorf.

Skip has been glued to his computer and phone all week--the last three days he hasn't even had outside meetings, so he's barely left the house. So, we all got out today and went to this little amusement park that is adjacent to the Oberhausen Mall. We had a coupon for Maddie to get in free, so it was a very affordable, very enjoyable outing.

Will post pics later this week. I left the little device I use to transfer pics to the computer back in the states. It only costs 10 euros to replace--I just have to do it!

Skip got an interesting bit of information from his German colleagues about McDonalds. They are really impressed with MickeyD's because the food quality and taste is consistent throughout the chain. Consistency and reliability are near and dear to the folks in my host country. No wonder McDonald's is booming here!

Feeling Old

Madonna is 49 today. Have heard that twice today on British Forces Radio. How can Madonna be 49? I will probably hear it again before the day is out. Brits love celebrity gossip. It was an English friend who told me that Paris had been released early from jail (she was incensed!) and I've had several ask me about how the Beckhams are doing in America. Or at least what the Americans think about them.

Maddie is having friends from last year's class over after school today for a tea party get together. That is her title. I do believe during all that time I spent at the Kirkwold's house growing up, there was some sort of recessive gene transfer that has manifested itself in Maddie. I always remember Arlene Kirkwold talking about the next party coming up, and if there wasn't one in the fairly near future, she'd plan one. Somehow, Maddie has come by the very same trait!

I gotta go grab some extra booster seats from a friend before I pick up several of the kids at school. In Germany, kids have to be in a booster seat until they are about 16 (mild exaggeration). It's a 40 euro fine per kid without said seat. Yikes!

Went to the gym today for the first time since being back. Maybe by the time I'm 49, I'll be in as good a shape as Madonna!

First Grade...Here We Come and Halloween Help

Went up to the school today to find out what class Maddie will be in. Don't know how we keep getting so lucky, but once again, Maddie got the teacher people can't say enough good things about. She'll be in Mrs. Gaylord's class, and school starts tomorrow for a half-day and then full days from here on out.

I have signed on to do the layout for the monthly American Women Club magazine and I'm sort of in charge of this Halloween party for 500 people (no more than that because of fire codes). Anyway, I had wanted to get some halloween t-shirts to wear when recruiting volunteers, but none were out when I left. If any of you see any in the next week or so and are willing to buy it and ship it to Germany, I'd appreciate it. It always irks me when retailers jump the gun on holiday seasons, but I could use a little early merchandise this year!

Oh, and for those of you who follow this blog on a regular basis, my spaghetti sauce turned out great! On the not so great side of things, I've been back less than a week and have already misplaced my EC card--which one needs to do just about anything. Skip is ordering a new one for me today.

Poor Skip

So excited was he to have season tickets for his beloved Borussia Dortmund football team with his cousin Torsten. Only to go to the opening game to watch them lose 3 to 1 to Duisburg--a team that only this year moved up to the first league. It looks like it's going to be a long season.

Just when I thought

I knew everything there was to know about ground beef--something new.

This has been an ongoing battle for me here in Germany. Okay, perhaps battle is a bit too strong a word. First I tried the hackfleish--which just didn't taste right in chili or spaghetti sauce. Then I found out that hackfleish (doesn't it just sound ymmy?) is a mixture of beef AND pork. Rindfleish is all beef. So I tried that, but it had a kind of gamey taste to it and the smell of browning it made me nauseous. Just when I had given up, Aldi started selling ground turkey--which works and tastes just like ground turkey does in the states. A handful of bread crumbs and an egg mixed in and you've got a tasty turkey burger.

So, ground beef was not even on my radar for my second tour of duy. But on my second night back in Germany, friend Robin had me over for spaghetti--with meat sauce. It was yummy. Stupidly, I asked her, "Did you get this ground beef here?" Like she had it flown in from Argentina. She showed me the package and it said "hackfleish zum braten" which means ground beef for roasting. Yesterday I was at the grocery store and checked. Some packages simply said "hackfleish" and others had the "zum braten" added to the title. Have no idea what (if any!) the difference is. Just browned some (not nauseous) tonight to make spaghetti tomorrow. Know you will all be waiting with baited (is that how you spell that?) breath waiting to see how it all comes out.

We are just about out of our jet lag. Maddie is still going to bed pretty late for her, but school starting will even everything out. We're going shopping for all the "ingredients" as Maddie calls school supplies tomorrow.

We Made it

We arrived in Germany yesterday to much cooler temperatures than we had in Arkansas. Skip picked us up at the airport, but had to fly out to Leeds, England last night. Maddie and I both slept until noon today and awakened to--of course--rain! We're both really stopped up, which I am attributing to a combination of the flight and the drastic shift in weather.

Went to go add minutes to my phone and found that I had forgotten the PIN number that goes with my EC (debit) card here. Almost panicked (since Skip is out of town and that card is the only way to charge up my phone OR access any cash), but decided against it. After walking around the grocery store (where they've quit carrying Maddie's favorite chicken nuggets--arrrggggghhhh!) the PIN came to me and I was able to boost up my phone.

Friend Robin had us over to dinner tonight. They're leaving in two weeks, so it's good to be able to spend time with them before they head back to the states.

Hope Maddie and I get back on track soon. I could collapse right now, but Maddie insists that she's not tired. Super. Really wish there was a better way to get through the two to four days after a drastic time change than to actually have to live through them.

Heading Back

Well, heading back to Germany tomorrow, so I guess it's time to start blogging again.

Skip claims to have missed us, but neighbors and friends have fed him quite well since he's been there by himself. I'm sure that has eased his pain.

My suitcase(s) are bulging. In addition to clothes for me and Maddie, I have books, a can of PAM cooking spray, chocolate chips, as much Sudafed as they would let me buy without being pegged as a meth maker, children's Tylenol and Benadryl, baking soda, my round (non-springform) cake pans, Lysol wipes and Lysol disinfectant spray. There's more, but I won't go on.

Maddie has been breaking out in hives every day for the last week. Cortisone cream and benadryl do the trick, but I hope it goes away soon. I did some research and found out that 70 percent of cases of hives in children come and go without ever knowing what caused them. I'm ready for hers to go.

Having two homes is not a good thing--you end up wanting the best of each in BOTH! I love my big kitchen here, but the appliances in the German kitchen are new and the oven (though small) is a convection oven that cooks faster and more evenly.

In Germany there's no garbage disposal and no spray nozzel in the kitchen, but there is a spray attachment on the tub--which I don't have here. It's much harder to clean a tub without that spray thing. But I haven't strained or bruised anything shaving my legs in my shower here. There will be more strains and pains once I attempt such grooming activities in our little German shower.

I'm really going to miss my refrigerator here that shoots out ice and water at the touch of a buttoon.

And I really, really need to get a job again so I can stop sitting around thinking about the pros and cons of kitchens and bathrooms.

Maddie at Camp

Maddie Lentz spent her first two nights at camp. She had a great time--even if she missed her mom a little.

New Do

Maddie finally got tired of me wrestling with the tangles in her hair and agreed that letting her hair grow as long as Ariel's could wait until she is older!

I cut it myself. Someday I'll remind her that there was a day when she thought her mom could do anything.

Weding Weekend

Had the honor of marrying my friend Susie and her new husband Justin this weekend in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. It was a lot of fun and really great to see some people I hadn't seen in years. It was also nice to get to be a pastor again.

One of the best parts of the wedding was hearing about Justin from all of his friends who showed up at the wedding. My suspiscion that Justin is areally great guy was confirmed by people who've known him a lot longer than I have.


Am still adjusting to being back in the States. I'm still a little startled to be in a public place where everyone is speaking English and I have to stop and remember that I don't have to stop and think about how to ask someone a question about something. Am watching too much TV and am going to have stop that!

Skip seems to have almost adjusted back to the time change and is off to Amsterdam today. It's not too hot right now in Duesseldorf--which is good, because there's no air conditioning!

Dialing Down and Clearing Out

okay, after nine months in Germany, I am not prepared for the effusiveness (is that a word) of the folks of Arkansas. The guys at Jiffy Lube this morning were just way to happy to be changing my oil. There were only three of them there and all of them told me to be sure and have a good weekend and one made me promise to come back.

As I made my way through several errands this morning, I encountere all sorts of folks who smiled and said thank you and inquired about the state of my well being. I cannot imagine being a German and stepping into Arkansas for the first time. It must seem like everyone is just up in your face and far to happy to be believable. I almost wanted to tell the guy at Jiffy Lube to dial it down a notch, but he just seemed in such a good mood, I didn't want to bring him down.

When I wasn't running errands today, I was going through closets. You know how professional organizers tell you to put stuff you can't bear to get rid of in a box and stash it away for six months. And then after that, if you don't miss it, toss it. Living in Germany for a year is the same thing. I've been going through boxes of stuff and wondering why I felt the need to box the stuff up in the first place! Goodwill is in for a deluge. Don't worry Skip, I'm not going through any of your stuff!

Skip is back in Germany and trying to recover (once again!) from jet lag.

Headed out tomorrow for my friend Susie's wedding.

We Made It!

We're here. We're sleepy, but we're here. It was one long trip. Maddie has woken up at 4 a.m. both mornings since we've been here. But tonight, she's spending the night with my mom and dad, so at least maybe Skip and I can sleep until a decent hour. Good luck to Nana and Papa John!

When we were changing planes in Atlanta, one of the agents at the gate was making an announcement asking for volunteers to take a later flight to Albany and she had quite the thick Georgia accent. Maddie is used to people who speak English with an accent, so she said, "I don't think that woman is American, Mommy."

Went to church this morning. It was great! I knew all the songs. Agreed with the theology. A real treat.

A nice young man bagged my groceries for me at the Kroger, called me "ma'am" and told me to have a real nice day.
I believe that since we left, people here have taken to talking even more slowly than they did before, but that could be just me.

It's really nice to be home. Maddie has a long list of things that she wants to do while she's here which includes Wild River Country, eating breakfast at McDonalds, Chuckie Cheese, seeing about 15 different friends, going to sleep-over camp, going to Bible School, swimming, shopping at Michaels and the Dollar Tree. I told her we'd get it all in over the next five weeks.

I am posting this entry from the local Starbucks on my new Mac computer. I am feeling WAY cool. Am trying to store up feelings of being cool and capable before I return to Germany where I'm pretty much a disaster!

Headed Home

Woo hoo! We leave tomorrow in the a.m. Am very excited to get back to the States. Being a stranger in a strange land can really wear you out. Am looking forward to the relaxed-ness that comes with being fully conversant in the language of the people.

things I am looking forward to:

• seeing friends and family
• a large shower
• ice and water out of the refrigerator door
• a freezer that holds more than a pizza and a box of popsicles
• grits
• free water in restaurants
• Mexican food
• Presbyterian church
• Target
• not having to think about how to ask for something in a store or restaurant
• movies and American television--I hear "The Closer" is back for a third summer season

things I will miss:

• being able to walk or take the train to places
• friends I've made here
• chocolate
• restaurants where you can eat outside and let the kids play together at the playground

Looking forward to being home!

Southern France (part three)

I really enjoyed the colors of Provence. I've never known much about architectural or interior design styles, but the French Provencal homes and interiors are really quite beautiful.


a home near our hotel

a seating area inside our hotel. the hotel was gorgeous. the staff was very nice. I went one time to the little bar to ask for some ice and they gave me this little bowl with about six cubes in it. So I explained that I needed quite a bit more and they had to go into a closet and find this plastic bucket that used to hold some kind of food. They apologized for the appearance of the plastic bucket, but I assured them it was perfect.

Maddie and Skip headed up the stairs to our room.

Here we are at Cannes of movie festival fame. Skip and I are going back there some day when Maddie goes to college. Okay, we probably won't have any money then, but we'd really like to go back. Absolutely beautiful!

Cannes from a hilltop. Note the big Morgan Freeman poster on a building.

Southern France (part two)

In the area of Frejus, very few people spoke English, so I had to dig out my French from the summer I studied in Strasbourg (some 15 years ago). Fortunately, I spoke enough French to tell people that I was an American living in Germany who spoke a little German and a little French, so they wouldn't think I was a completely crazy when I started a sentence in French, ended in German and threw in an English word or two for good measure. Mercifully, most of the staff at our hotel were English speaking.

Another French/German blending happened for Maddie regarding our rental car. It was a French car called a Citroen. In German, "citrone" is the word for lemon. So Maddie kept calling our car a lemon. She thought that was great!



Everywhere we went, Maddie had to pick out postcards. She was obsessed with them. She has written postcards to people whose addresses I don't even begin to know!

Maddie and Skip on the Coeurs Mirabeau in Aix en Provance. There is probably a more quaint part of Aix, but we were just there for the afternoon, and found a beautiful old part of town with exquisite buildings that has been turned into a huge mall. I turned around to go home when I saw the Gap.


Here I am in front of one of the many fountains in the area where we stayed. Based on things found in abundance, we deduced that the French love fountains, traffic rotaries, pharmacies and hair salons. Lavender, wine, olive oil and goat cheese are also big.

We went all the way to St. Tropez so that Maddie could discover a love of mini-golf.

The harbor at Frejus. Frejus is really two towns. There is the old town where we stayed with it's historic buildings and a church with an old baptistry that dates back to the 5th century and then the harbor area which looks like something you might see in Florida.

Southern France (Part One)

Behind on posts because I didn't have my computer with me in Southern France.

We stayed in Frejus (for those of you up on your French geography, it's on the coast between Nice and St. Tropez) which was founded by Julius Caesar. Can you imagine? There are ruins there that date back to the 1st century B.C. I don't think that Maddie could quite wrap her mind around the idea that she was looking at stones that had been put into columns before Jesus was born. Back in "Jesus time" is the oldest time she knows!



Maddie and me in our matching ISD t-shirts in front of our hotel. The hotel was very nice, but Maddie was the only kid there. I've come to realize that a nice hotel when you have a six-year-old is one with an ice and coke machine down the hall and a McDonald's next door!

Maddie at the beach on the Mediteranean sea. Tried to get a Skip a swimsuit like the guy in the picture, but he was having none of it!

Went for a couple of hours to the harbor at St. Tropez. Skip is thinking of buying this boat. It's one of the small ones in that harbor.




Right after this picture was taken we ran into a kid who goes to school with Maddie at ISD and his dad. They have a summer home there that looks out over these rocks and a boat in the harbor. I told him we would be "summering" in Little Rock where Maddie would be attending church camp and swimming in our friend's pool.

Can't be Avoided

There's red tape everywhere! The passport arm of the American Embassy here in Duesseldorf is closing at the end of the month and Americans in this area will have to go to Frankfurt (2 1/2 hours away) for passport services. Because Skip is traveling so much, he needs to get some pages added to his. He called today and they said that services were available until noon. So he rushed down there only to find out that because of the huge number of Americans that have come in for passport services, they have run out of pages. "You should have called," they told him. When he said that he had, they told him he could come in again the morning of June 28 (the one full day we'll have here between France and the US) and try again.

In the meantime, I took Maddie and her friend Meg to their last recorder lesson of the year and afterwards, Meg's dad and I took them both to lunch. After 10 months here and 50 hours of German lessons, I'm still ordering the wrong food. I ended up with a large piece of brown bread slathered in butter with four huge slices of cheese on top. mmmmm. Then cigar-smoking guy sat down next to me and it took forever to get the bill.

It's time for a break in the land of English menus, free water, smoke-free restaurants and waiters who are anxious to turn a table.

Naked or Nekkid?

I think it was Lewis Grizzard who made the distinction between naked and nekkid. Naked simply meant that you didn't have on any clothes. Nekkid meant you didn't have on any clothes and you're up to something.

I bring this up because we're headed to the south of France on Wednesday and are trying to prepare Maddie for the fact that people will appear there in various stages of dress and undress and that it's okay to think it's kind of funny, but it's no okay to point and stare.

She's had a little bit of an intro at our town pool. Although only little kids go without swimsuits, it's not uncommon to see someone change on the lawn next to the pool--even though there is a long row of changing rooms right behind them.

When you're from country founded by Puritans, it's hard to get into the European mindset of not being very concerned with showing your body. Women in their seventies and eighties sport bikinis. Men wear speedo-type briefs rather than swim trunks. Your weight does not in any way inhibit your choice of swimwear. Normally every summer I look for one of those suck-me-in swimsuits designed by the people at NASA--guaranteed to take off 10 pounds. You can't get those here because nobody feels the need to suck anything in. There's even a very limited selection of cover-ups, because again, there's really no need to cover up.

We're told by friends that the town of Frejus where we are going in France is absolutely beautiful. I can't believe that Maddie Lentz has seen more of the world in the last year than most people see in a lifetime. And that she's been exposed to more cultures than most people are in a lifetime. How many American six-year-olds (or American sixty-year-olds) realize that being Japanese and being Korean are very different indeed. And now she's going to learn that not everyone feels the need to wear a top at the beach!

Last Day of School...and they're off

Maddie with teacher Mrs. Codjoe, who will be in Portugal next year. We were SO lucky to have her. Maddie has had a great start to school.

Last day of school and everyone is beating a path to get out of town--either on vacation in Europe to get to hot spots before the regular German schools let out or back to the States. Several families have not been home in a year and are really ready to see family and be where everyone speaks English.

We're the laggers. We won't leave until Wednesday because we got a super cheap fare to Southern France. Then we come back to Duesseldorf, spend 2 nights, do a bunch of laundry and head home. I've already got one suitcase that's coming to the US packed and ready to go!

Next to the Last Day of School

Every ex-pat in Duesseldorf is emotionally spent right now. With all the people who are leaving at the end of this school year, coupled with all the folks who don't know if they will or won't be here when school starts next year, the moms and the kids are worn out. The problem is the kids don't know what's wrong--they just have this huge bundle of emotions going on--so they can scream, cry, laugh or just completely fall apart at the drop of a hat. It's really fun for everyone.

Tomorrow is a half-day of school. If the weather is nice, a bunch of moms and kids are planning to head to Nordpark after school--but the forecast is not looking so good. We'll keep our fingers crossed.


Max, teacher aid Mrs. Christoffles, Mrs. Codjoe and Maddie


Buddy Konstatine Von Stein with Maddie

Kahn Woon, Jonas and Maddie

My friends Robin and Jennifer. Robin is back in the states at the end of August and it is unsure whether or not Jennifer will be here when we return from the states.

Maddie has developed some killer upper body strength on the ISD playground. She can cross the entire arc of the monkey bars.

It's Better

It's been a longstanding joke here that anytime an American has a question about why they do something here in Germany that's different than it is in America, a German can explain to you why the way they do it in Germany is better. It's become our mantra here anytime we don't understand something. We may not get it, we just accept that it's better.

I actually envy that. We Americans certainly can't pull that off. For instance, when I was asked why Americans take so much medicine, what could I say? "We're hypochondriacs"? "We're wimpy?" Or when someone asked me why so many Americans are obese. "It's better" doesn't really make the cut.

Anyway, today I was at an American Women's Club brunch sitting with some of my friends and some long-time members who have lived in Germany for years and two of them are married to German men. One picked up a small packet of Philadelphia Cream Cheese and remarked that her daughter worked for the company. I took the opportunity to ask why Philly Cream cheese in Germany is a different consistency than Philly cream cheese in America. When I first got here I tried to make a cheese cake, and it came out really weird. I should have predicted the answer--they start with better, higher quality ingredients here in Germany. All of my friends and I totally cracked up and chorused together, "It's better!" The other women thought we were insane.

On a less-than-funny note, Maddie's good friend Madison had her last day at school today. She's moving to the states tomorrow. Maddie started to cry after school, and I thought I wasn't going to make it. Her teacher, Mrs. Codjoe, will also not be there next year. She is headed off to Portugal. Even though Maddie would have a different teacher, she's sad that Mrs. Codjoe won't be there next year.

Found out another friend won't be leaving Duesseldorf, but transferring to St. George's--the British school up the road. We have been really lucky in that Maddie has been right in the zone of how and what her school is teaching. She has absolutely thrived. Apparently, for those kids for whom the curriculum is not a good fit, the school does not offer many alternatives.

Way to many good-byes and good-lucks lately. Ready for an emotional break!



Maddie with friend Madison and her brother Jake who are headed to Mount Olive, NJ tomorrow.

big day

Our windows stay open all the time now because it is really hot and there is no air conditioning. And today, through our open window, we were greeted to a 7 a.m. serenade by a 20 piece marching band riding around through the neighborhood in a wagon. Apparently it was all part of Shuetzenfest in Witlaer. There are these shooting clubs (target shooting) that have these big festivals every summer. Today, there are many people who are part of the clubs who don't actually do much shooting. They just go around playing oompah music in the early morning! Let's hope they get it out of their systems before Saturday!

Maddie had her portfolio day today--which is when all the parents come in and the kids get to show off their work. That was in the morning. In the afternoon, parents were invited in to the final ballet class to see what they had learned during the year. Maddie's class has little girls from England, Korea, Sweden, China, Belgium and Germany. I realized for the first time today that Maddie is the ONLY American in the class!


Maddie w/ Leoni and Margot




Maddie and Meg--clearly the key is all in how you hold your mouth!

Maddie and Leoni

Maddie with friend Matthew at portfolio day

Family Fun

Horst and Maja have wrapped up their whirlwind tour of Germany. They've been in Europe for a month now--this year they even added in a trip to Spain--and they headed home today.

Last night we had cousins down from Dortmund and we all went out to one of our favorite restaurants--Meyer and Freeman. We walked home through the farm fields. I don't know that I've seen Horst and Maja have a better time than they did last night.

Maddie has gotten her yearbook from ISD and has had the best time looking at it. I had forgotten how exciting that was. Of course, things are a little different, now. Her traditional yearbook came with a DVD filled with videos of the year.




Elfie, Skip, Torsten, Horst, Milena, Maja, Frankie and Maddie


Maddie hitched a ride back with cousin Frankie

Skip ended up toting Maddie's original mode of transport

Another Holiday

Germans are the holiday-edness people ever. And for the third time a German holiday hits in the middle of a week, Skip is in London. I don't know why the Americans and the Brits don't check the German holiday calendar when scheduling meetings. Probably because they'd never find a time to schedule!

Today is Corpus Christi which happens the second Thursday after Pentecost Sunday. Germans make much better time of their one-day holidays than Americans. We tend to hit the stores for sales, but here the stores are closed, so folks go walking and visit with one another. Radical, I know.

Oma and Opa are back after a whirlwind tour of Germany. They will try to recuperate here before returning to the states on Sunday.

Maddie and I used the holiday to finally make a lemon meringue pie--something she's been asking to do ever since reading that Amelia Bedelia book where Amelia gets out of a whole heap of trouble because she makes a fantastic lemon meringue pie. I think Maddie's thinking that's a good thing to know how to do if it makes people forget to be mad at you. She's no dummy.

Busy Weekend

A lot goes in to wrapping up a school year in ex-pat land. Almost everyone is leaving for at least part of the summer. Some folks are leaving for good. Others are still not sure whether or not they will be staying for the next school year or heading off to some other place.

Maddie's friend Madison and her brother Jake had a good-bye party on Saturday at a local indoor play place. That afternoon we met up with the Timmerman family (who most likely won't be here for the next school year either) at our local beer garden where there's a play area for the kids. Dinner outside while the kids have plenty to keep them occupied is a nice way to pass an evening. We called another friend who was out biking with her kids and she stopped by, too.

Today we had Skip's cousin Steffie and her husband and kids over for coffee and cake. Maddie loves to play with her cousins Sabrina and Jacqueline. They had a fabulous time. Tomorrow is our next to the last week of school with Thursday off for yet another holiday.



Lizzie, Madison and Maddie at Madison's going away party.




Sabrina, Maddie and Jacqueline at our neighborhood playground.